so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
