where am i from again
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
