Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I need water and some morals
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