Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
