there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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