i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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