Sry I called you an 8
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
