he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
