Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
