You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
