just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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