Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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