I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
