This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
