If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
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Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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