is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
