Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
