Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
