If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
