i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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