This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
