DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Randomize
