I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
