let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
