Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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