I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I have post one night stand depression
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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