the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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