My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
