I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
