I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
