I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
