but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Randomize
