your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
