sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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