I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I FOUND THE LEGS
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
