Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
When are your genitals available?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
