I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
