and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
