doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
4 words: hood of his car
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
