It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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