You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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