So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
