Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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