I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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