"it" just moved
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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