My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Randomize
