omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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