That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
