Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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