Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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