the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
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