That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
