WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
