do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
