its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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