Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize