Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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