Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
