You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
