I think I am morally bankrupt
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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