Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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