hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
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He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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