Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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